Tag: truth

YouTube isn’t for Muslim women

by Evidence seeker, posted in Women

97F7DAA7-DB84-4194-918A-F93A2629688CRecently, I came across a YouTube video which was about Muslim female vloggers. It claimed these women, by making vlogs on make-up and clothing were directly disobeying a verse from the Quran. I have heard the same verse used many times by ‘scholars’ to propagate that a Muslim woman

-Must stay at home unless there is a real necessity to come out (i.e. must not have a job outside the home).

-Cannot wear make-up outside her home

-Must be completely shrouded so only her eyes are uncovered

-If she must leave the house, a male companion will accompany her

However, as I’m sure you’ll know, many people repeating the same mantra does not make the mantra a truth.

Let’s take a look at the verse. It is from Surah Al Ahzaab, verse 33:

وَقَرْنَ فِى بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلاَ تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَـهِلِيَّةِ الاٍّولَى وَأَقِمْنَ الصَّلَوةَ وَءَاتِينَ الزَّكَـوةَ وَأَطِعْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ لِيُذْهِبَ عَنكُـمُ الرِّجْسَ أَهْلَ الْبَيْتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمْ تَطْهِيــراً

And stay in your houses, and do not Tabarruj yourselves like the Tabarruj of the times of ignorance, and perform the Salah, and give Zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove the Ar-Rijs from you, O members of the family, and to purify you with a thorough purification.

Above is the common translation of the verse and the English translation is a direct reflection of what the ‘scholars’, for centuries now, have been interpreting the verse to mean. An interpretation tainted with deeply embedded misogyny and a need to control women. Yet, despite the layers of distortion and misguidance, the truth remains; The Quran holds the key to true understanding.

Firstly, if you look at the verse before this one in the Quran, you will clearly understand these words are directed towards the wives of the Prophet. Secondly, the word (an imperative verb)  ‘قَرْنَ’  is interpreted as ‘Stay’ when its root ‘وقر’ is in fact the same for the noun used in Surah Nuh, verse 13:

مَّا لَكُمْ لَا تَرْجُونَ لِلَّهِ وَقَارًا

What is the matter with you, that you do not hope for any majesty/dignity from Allah?

Hence, the true meaning of this part of the verse is ‘Dignify yourselves in your homes’.

Now, the meaning of ‘tabarruj’ is of paramount importance. It is often translated like this because many ‘scholars’ who studied the Quran did not have a definitive meaning for it but instead offered the opinions of other ‘scholars’ as possible interpretations. Yet, the answer, I believe is there if your mind is open enough.

In Surah An Noor, verse 60, Allah (using the same term ‘tabarruj’, in a different form) states:

وَالْقَوَاعِدُ مِنَ النِّسَآءِ الَّلَـتِى لاَ يَرْجُونَ نِكَاحاً فَلَيْسَ عَلَيْهِنَّ جُنَاحٌ أَن يَضَعْنَ ثِيَابَهُنَّ غَيْرَ مُتَبَرِّجَـتِ بِزِينَةٍ وَأَن يَسْتَعْفِفْنَ خَيْرٌ لَّهُنَّ وَاللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عِلِيمٌ

And the Qawa`id among women who do not hope for marriage, it is no sin on them if they discard their clothing in such a way as not to be those who do tabarruj/show their adornment. To refrain from tabarruj is better for them. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower.

Interestingly, here the ‘scholars’ have defined ‘tabarruj’ as ‘showing their adornment’ and correctly so. This would also correlate with the verse in Surah An Noor (31) which clearly outlines how and when exactly a Muslim woman should cover.

Now, going back to our initial verse (Surah Al Ahzaab, verse 33), ‘tabarruj’ means ‘not to show what Allah has told you to cover’. So, the translation of verse should read as the following:

‘And dignify yourselves in your homes and do not show of yourselves what Allah commanded you to cover, like women did in the times of ignorance…’

In other words, be dignified, honour yourself by only uncovering/showing your body in your home and do not be immoral by doing such outside. The two statements are one command. It is like saying, ‘Don’t consume margarine and use butter instead’.

This is further supported by sayings of the Companions about shamelessness and nudity when people would circumbulate the ka’ba naked. The collection of Bukhari, for example, offers the following:

Narrated Abu Huraira: “In the year prior to the last Hajj of the Prophet when Allah’s Apostle made Abu Bakr the leader of the pilgrims, the latter (Abu Bakr) sent me in the company of a group of people to make a public announcement: ‘No pagan is allowed to perform Hajj after this year, and no naked person is allowed to perform Tawaf of the Ka’ba.’

In summary, the verse in Surah Al Ahzaab, despite being quoted by many – as evidence for the many things a woman cannot do, was in fact a simple command for the wives of the Prophet to dress appropriately or morally as defined by Allah in the Quran.

The reality is as Albert Einstein is quoted to have said. ‘Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.’ Yet, with the light of the Quran to guide us, as Muslims, we have no excuse.

Divorce – The Truth about Mahr, Khula & Halala

by Evidence seeker, posted in Divorce

MAHR:

‘Mahr’ is commonly used to refer to the wealth given by a husband to his wife as part of the marriage contract. Many clerics WRONGLY claim that if the wife initiates the divorce process, she must pay this back to the husband, a ransom for her freedom.  

 

They use a verse in Surah Al Baqarah (229):

 

الطَّلَـقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَـنٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُواْ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ فَلاَ تَعْتَدُوهَا وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَأُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الظَّـلِمُونَ

229. The divorce is twice, after that either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness. And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of what you gave them (the Mahr, bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back. These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the wrongdoers.

 

and put it together with this hadith from Sahih Al Bukhari.

 

عن ابن عباس:  أن امرأة ثابت بن قيس بن شماس أتت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت : يا رسول الله ، ثابت بن قيس ما أعتب عليه في خلق ولا دين ، ولكني أكره الكفر في الإسلام . فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : أتردين عليه حديقته ؟ قالت : نعم ، قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : اقبل الحديقة وطلقها تطليقة  

 

This is usually wrongly used as evidence to claim that if the woman wants to initiate divorce, she must pay back the mahr. It is usually translated inaccurately (You can find the incorrect version easily – just do a search online) and the reason WHY she gives it back is completely overlooked.

 

However, the CORRECT translation is: 

 

The wife of Thaabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said:  

 

Oh Messenger of Allah, I don’t find defects in Thaabit’s religion or manners but I hate the disbelief in Islam. So, the Messenger of Allah said, ‘Will you return to him his garden?’. She said, ‘yes’. The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Accept the garden and divorce her once’.

 

So, the woman gave back the garden/Mahr because Thaabit was not a believer in Islam.

 

Now, when this hadith is translated correctly and in its complete version, it is in accordance with the Quran that the woman returns the ‘mahr’ if her husband is a disbeliever. 

 

The Quran clearly states this in Surat Al Mumtahina, verses 10 and 11:

 

يأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ إِذَا جَآءَكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَـتُ مُهَـجِرَتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَـنِهِنَّ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَـتٍ فَلاَ تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لاَ هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَءَاتُوهُم مَّآ أَنفَقُواْ وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ إِذَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَلاَ تُمْسِكُواْ بِعِصَمِ الْكَوَافِرِ وَاسْـَلُواْ مَآ أَنفَقْتُمْ وَلْيَسْـَلُواْ مَآ أَنفَقُواْ ذَلِكُمْ حُكْمُ اللَّهِ يَحْكُمُ بَيْنَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ – وَإِن فَاتَكُمْ شَىْءٌ مِّنْ أَزْوَجِكُمْ إِلَى الْكُفَّـرِ فَعَـقَبْتُمْ فَآتُواْ الَّذِينَ ذَهَبَتْ أَزْوَجُهُمْ مِّثْلَ مَآ أَنفَقُواْ وَاتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ الَّذِى أَنتُمْ بِهِ مُؤْمِنُونَ

 

10. O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, question them; Allah knows best as to their faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful for them. But give them (disbelievers) that which they have spent (on their ‘mahr’). And there will be no sin on you to marry them if you have paid their due to them. Likewise do not keep the disbelieving women, and ask for that which you have spent (on their ‘mahr’) and let them (the disbelievers) ask for that which they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah, He judges between you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. 11. And if any of your wives have gone from you to the disbelievers then you succeed over them (gain victory); then pay those whose wives have gone, the equivalent of what they had spent. And have Taqwa of Allah, the One in Whom you are believers.

 

So, if the wife is divorcing the husband because he is a disbeliever, she must return the ‘mahr’. This is one situation when she will return it. 

 

In Surah An Nisa’a, verses 19 – 21, another situation is mentioned:

 

يَـأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُواْ النِّسَآءَ كَرْهاً وَلاَ تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُواْ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلاَّ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئاً وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً – وَإِنْ أَرَدْتُّمُ اسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍ وَءَاتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَاهُنَّ قِنْطَاراً فَلاَ تَأْخُذُواْ مِنْهُ شَيْئاً أَتَأْخُذُونَهُ بُهْتَـناً وَإِثْماً مُّبِيناً – وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَـقاً غَلِيظاً

 

19. O you who believe! You are not permitted to inherit women against their will, nor to make things difficult for them in order to get part of (the ‘mahr’) what you have given them, unless they commit open Fahishah. And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. 20. But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Qintar, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin. 21. And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant.

 

In other words, the wife gives back the mahr if she has cheated (sex outside of their marriage) on the husband (open fahishah means with 4 witnesses or she herself has openly confessed to it). 

 

Despite what many scholars claim, the religion DOES NOT state the wife returns the mahr because she is the one who wants the divorce. Almost amusingly, they even include defiance & disobedience to husband, reviling him & his family as just cause to take back the mahr when the Quran commands the opposite.

 

The fact of the matter is that she only returns it if she wants a divorce because her husband is a disbeliever or because she has openly cheated on him which is why the initial verse from Surah Al Baqarah mentions ‘the limits ordained by Allah’. Men are commanded very clearly NOT to take back the mahr unless it is one of the 2 situations mentioned.

 

KHULA:

 

Firstly, the term ‘Khula’ has no real basis in the religion. In the collection of An Nisa’i, a different version of the hadith above includes the Prophet’s command to Thaabit “خذ الذي لها عليك وخل سبيلها”

which means ‘Take the mahr and leave her to her way’. The word خل (i.e ‘leave/depart’) is where the ‘scholars’ got ’Khula’.

 

The clerics then took this new invented definition and added to it that if a woman wants a ‘Khula’, she must take the matter to court and the judge(s) will make the decision as to whether her reasons are justified. In other words, they will decide whether she should get a divorce and if granted, she will return the mahr.

 

Neither the Quran or Sunnah dictates that there is a different way for a woman to initiate divorce (See my blog on Divorce). The entire concept of Khula is a mere reflection of how most societies work – where men have more power and control.

 

Now, if you have read the opinions of the ‘scholars’ on ‘Khula’, you will already know that they claim the ‘nikah’ (or marital contract is with the husband and because he bears the financial expenses in the relationship, he has more of a right to divorce). So, if the woman wants a divorce, they claim she must ask for ‘Khula’ and pay back the mahr.

 

They base this on the verse from Surah Al Baqarah (237): 

 

وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إَّلآ أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَاْ الَّذِى بِيَدِهِ عُقْدَةُ النّكَاحِ وَأَن تَعْفُواْ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَى وَلاَ تَنسَوُاْ الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ

 

And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed for them their due (mahr), then pay half of that, unless they (the women) agree to remit it, or he, in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to remit it. And that you remit is nearer to At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness). And do not forget liberality between yourselves. Truly, Allah is All-Seer of what you do.

 

‘Scholars’ claim ‘he, in whose hands is the marriage tie’ is evidence that the marital contract is in the ‘hands’ of the husband so he has more rights. In reality, an understanding of the pronouns used within the verbs indicate it is not the husband but, the woman’s representative (father, brother etc) who is meant here.

 

The religion is fair because our Lord is Most Just. Women have the same rights to divorce as men do. Anyone who claims differently has obviously not looked at the evidence with an open mind. 

 

In summary,

-Khula is an invented process.

-The man or any judge cannot take back the mahr (unless one of the 2 situations above is present)

-The man does not ‘own’ the marital contract. Rather, it is a mutual one.

 

HALALA:

 

When the divorce process has been initiated 3 times between the same husband and wife, the woman must now marry a different man. The wisdom in this is clear – any marriage which has been turbulent enough to initiate divorce thrice is one which is not working so we are ordered to move on.

 

Now, I believe it is often human nature to look for loop holes. However, there is a colossal difference between a loop hole and distortion. ‘Halala’ is an innovation and a complete distortion of the laws of Allah (Muslims are twisting the verse from Surah Al Baqarah (230) which you can find in my blog on Divorce).

 

By distorting the verse, Muslims are following a practice whereby the woman marries someone for the sole purpose of re-marrying her previous husband. There are, in fact, agencies, which for a payment, will marry the woman to a new man who will then have sex with her for one night and then divorce her so she can re-marry her previous husband. This is making a mockery of the institution of marriage and more importantly, the evidence from the Quran.

 

It is a direct consequence of Muslims following the opinions of scholars. This has led people to divorce in many incorrect ways (i.e. believing that merely uttering the word ‘divorce’ means you are divorced, without witnesses, without an iddah, without due process). Huge misunderstandings and innovations lead us to the completely unislamic and abhorrent practice of  Halala.

May Allah guide us back.

A million miles from how DIVORCE should happen

by Evidence seeker, posted in Divorce

Divorce is one very evident issue where the clerics have taken Muslims away from the religion. The husband is WRONGLY given the right to divorce by just stating the word ‘Divorce’. It is viewed incorrectly as a word or a statement when, in fact, it is a PROCESS (Click here to see the divorce process displayed visually).

 

It’s time to look away from the clergy and fix our sights on the evidence. 

 

So, how is a divorce conducted according to the Quran?

 

It is clear in Surah Al Baqarah (verses 228 -30):

 

وَالْمُطَلَّقَـتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَـثَةَ قُرُوءٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِى أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الاٌّخِرِ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُواْ إِصْلَـحاً وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكُيمٌ

 

228. And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.

 

*This verse tells us:

 

a). A declaration of divorce is followed by a time period of 3 menstrual cycles with no sexual relationship (called ‘iddah’ – see Surah At Talaaq, verse 1 for more evidence of this command). The wisdom of this is to know if there is pregnancy and a woman must wait for this iddah to be over before she can re-marry. If there is a pregnancy, the husband will have to support her financially for the pregnancy and the child after he/she is born. 

 

b). They can go back to being married, if they wish. In the case of pregnancy, the divorce maybe revoked within the iddah because there won’t be 3 menstrual cycles. Otherwise, they must wait until the iddah is completed (see below for references to verses on this). Either way, the divorce process was initiated so it is counted as one divorce (‘…right to take them back…’)

 

c). The husband is financially responsible for the wife from the time divorce is declared until the iddah comes to an end (…’a degree of responsibility..’)

 

NOTE: There is no iddah if the marriage was not consummated (See Al Ahzaab, verse 49).

 

الطَّلَـقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَـنٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُواْ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ فَلاَ تَعْتَدُوهَا وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَأُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الظَّـلِمُونَ

 

229. The divorce is twice, after that either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness. And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of what you gave them (the Mahr, bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back. These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the wrongdoers.

 

* So, 2 processes of divorce are permitted whereby the couple can decide, at the end of each iddah, to remain in the marriage.

 

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلاَ تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِن بَعْدُ حَتَّى تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يَتَرَاجَعَآ إِن ظَنَّآ أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ

وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُهَا لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ

230. And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes plain for the people who have knowledge.

 

*A third declaration of divorce is irrevocable and means the marriage is over with no possibility of reconciliation. The couple CANNOT GO BACK TOGETHER. The woman now must marry someone else but there is still a waiting period of 3 menstrual cycles during which the husband must financially support her.

In the case of pregnancy, the husband continues to financially support the wife until the birth.  If the new marriage of the woman fails, they could re-marry.

 

Now, going back to the fact that divorce is a PROCESS, not an utterance, the religion dictates witnesses must be involved in the declaration of divorce and for the iddah to begin. The verse which clearly states this is in Surah An Nisaa’a (35);

 

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُواْ حَكَماً مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَماً مِّنْ أَهْلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصْلَـحاً يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَآ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيماً خَبِيراً 

 

35. If you fear a split between the two, appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.

 

In other words, when a couple, one or both of them are thinking of divorce, they must involve 2 witnesses/arbitrators, one from each side to be present. These 2 people will be present in discussions regarding divorce so any declaration of divorce and initializing of the iddah will be observed so there can be no arguments or confusion later.

 

Interestingly, many claim that the husband can change his mind DURING the iddah . Yet the Quran clearly states in several places that the decision must be made and witnessed (by two people, one from each side) AT THE END OF THE IDDAH (except if there is pregnancy). These verses include; At Talaaq – 2, Al Baqarah – 231 and 232.

 

This is quite a lot to digest especially if you believed the word ‘divorce’ is uttered thrice and the marriage is irrevocably over. So, let’s connect the evidence to real life situations (Click here if you’d prefer to see this visually).

 

Situation where there is pregnancy:

Ayesha and Khaled are married. Khaled decides he wants a divorce. He calls 2 witnesses (one from each side) and after discussions, declares divorce. He must financially support Ayesha for 3 menstrual cycles. During the iddah, Ayesha realises she is pregnant. There is now a child to consider. Khaled decides he wants to give the marriage another go. There won’t be 3 menstrual cycles because she is pregnant so, they call the witnesses again & he declares his decision to give the marriage another go. Ayesha and Khalid continue as married but there is one count of divorce – on their record, if you like.

Or 

Khaled decides he still wants a divorce despite the pregnancy. He must support Ayesha for her new iddah (At Talaaq, verse 4) which is until their baby is born. She will not marry until after the birth and could re-marry Khaled if they so wish or another man.

 

Situation where divorce process has been initiated once or twice:

 

Halima and Umar are a married couple when Halima decides she wants a divorce. Two witnesses (one from each side) are called and she declares her decision to divorce Umar. The 3 menstrual cycle iddah (waiting period) begins. 

The 3 menstruations show Halima is not pregnant and she does not wish to stay in the marriage. Umar financially supports her until the iddah is over. She then can re-marry Umar (even if years passed by) or another man. But, if she re-marries Umar, there is one count of divorce (or two if this is the second time one of them has initiated divorce) on their marriage.

Or 

At the end of the iddah, Halima changes her mind and she calls witnesses to declare her decision. They are still married. But, because the divorce process was initiated, there is now one count (or two, if it is the second time) on the marriage.

 

Situation where divorce process has been initiated for the third time:

 

Ahmed and Sara have initiated the divorce process twice in their marriage already so there are two counts of divorce.

 

Ahmed decides he wants a divorce. He calls two witnesses (one from each side) and after discussion, declares his decision. The iddah begins and at the end of it, regardless of whether Sara is pregnant or not, they must separate. If she is pregnant, the iddah for her before she can re-marry is until she gives birth and Ahmed must support her financially during the pregnancy. If not, the financial support ends when the 3 menstrual cycles are complete. They CANNOT re-marry at this time.

 

If the new marriage resulted in divorce, Sara could decide to re-marry Ahmed but more on this in my next blog (I’ll also cover ‘Khula’, ‘mahr’ and the abominable practice of ‘halala marriages’).

 

In conclusion, I’m sure you’ll agree saying the word ‘divorce’ impulsively means nothing. It is a process which involves witnesses, a clear start of the divorce process, a waiting period followed by a declaration of a final decision). This process has been outlined clearly in the religion. It’s now our responsibility to follow it.

 

Hadith versus Quran

by Evidence seeker, posted in Hadith versus Quran
9EFE102F-4F53-4452-B7A0-4D820AC22B6BThe clergy misguide people in a number of ways:

1). Misinterpretation

2). Ignoring the context of the evidence

3). Propagating opinions or culture instead of actual evidence

4). Elevating the position of a hadith or saying of a Companion above the Quran

 

All of these imply poor researching skills. Today, I want to take a closer look at Number 4 – Elevating a hadith or saying of a Companion above the Quran.

 

Now, of course belief in ahadith or the Sunnah of the Prophet is a fundamental part of being a Muslim. We need to know the Sunnah so we know how to pray, exactly how to pay Zakah, and so on as well as the character of the greatest example of all time.

 

The problem arises when one or several ahadith are taken and followed without looking at the Quran. This is extremely corrosive to our understanding of the religion because the Quran, being Divine Scripture, the word of Allah, is protected while ahadith can be weak and were sometimes recorded in shortened versions where key bits of information are missing. 

 

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples;

 

Narrated Ibn Muhairiz:

 

I entered the Mosque and saw Abu Said Al-Khudri and sat beside him and asked him about Al-Azl (i.e. coitus interruptus). Abu Said said, “We went out with Allah’s Apostle for the Ghazwa [battle at which Muhammad was present] of Banu Al-Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interruptus, we said, ‘How can we do coitus interruptus before asking Allah’s Apostle [Muhammad] who is present among us?” We asked (him) about it and he said, ‘It is better for you not to do so, for if any soul (till the Day of Resurrection) is predestined to exist, it will exist.”

Bukhari

 

This hadith from Bukhari is often quoted to claim sex slavery is permitted in Islam. Yet, the Quran states exactly the opposite in Surah An Nis’a, verse 25.

 

وَمَن لَّمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنكُمْ طَوْلاً أَن يَنكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَـتِ الْمُؤْمِنَـتِ فَمِنْ مَّا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـنُكُم مِّن فَتَيَـتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَـتِ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَـنِكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ مِّن بَعْضٍ فَانكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَءَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَـت غَيْرَ مُسَـفِحَـتٍ وَلاَ مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ فَإِذَآ أُحْصِنَّ فَإِنْ أَتَيْنَ بِفَـحِشَةٍ فَعَلَيْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنَـتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِىَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ وَأَن تَصْبِرُواْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

 

And whoever of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess, and Allah has full knowledge about your faith, you are one from another. Wed them with the permission of their own folk (guardians) and give them their due in a good manner; they should be chaste, not fornicators, nor promiscuous. And after they have been taken in wedlock, if they commit Fahishah, their punishment is half that for free (unmarried) women. This is for him among you who is afraid of being harmed in his religion or in his body; but it is better for you that you practice self-restraint, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

 

As you can see, the Quran commands men to marry these women NOT to take them as sex slaves!

 

Interestingly, the above hadith has several versions but all seem to go back to the same narrator – Ibn Muhairiz. Ibn Muhairiz narrated one other hadith in Sunan Ibn Majah which was categorised as weak (It reads: “I asked Fadalah bin Ubaid about hanging the hand (of the thief) from this neck, and he said: ‘It is sunnah. The messenger of Allah (saw) cut off a man’s hand then hung it from his neck”).

 

Additionally, there is a lack of information about this narrator and so his credibility should set off alarm bells for anyone seeking the truth.

 

Once we elevate or prioritise ahadith over the Quran, like a scientist who desperately wants his/her hypothesis to be proven true, we are likely to misinterpret other evidence. (See my blog on ‘Sex slavery’ if you are interested – for more on this subject).

 

Another example is the issue of divorce. The ‘scholars’ remain divided on whether stating ‘divorce’ thrice at one time constitutes an irrevocable divorce. Here it is not an issue of hadith versus Quran but a saying of a Companion prioritised over the Book of the Creator.

 

Many ‘scholars’ claim a husband saying ‘divorce’ three times at one time means that he has divorced his wife and they cannot re-marry until she marries another man. Their view is based upon the actions of Umar ibn Al Khattaab when he was Caliph. Umar passed this as law to teach the people not to take divorce lightly although this is not what the Quran states. In fact, the Quran clearly states each declaration of divorce has a waiting period of 3 menstruation cycles.

 

Surah Al Baqarah, verses 228,

 

وَالْمُطَلَّقَـتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَـثَةَ قُرُوءٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِى أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الاٌّخِرِ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُواْ إِصْلَـحاً وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكُيمٌ

 

And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.

 

  • The verses which follow (229 & 230) tell us about the maximum number of three divorces before the divorce becomes irrevocable and the woman must then marry someone else.

 

In other words, many of the clergy are following what Umar did as opposed to what the Quran dictates.

 

There must be a hierarchy if we want to follow the actual religion and the primary source must come first.

 

1). The Quran

2). Hadith 

3). Sayings of the Companions and the Tab’ieen (the generation after the Companions).

 

So, this hierarchy means we must look at the Quran first and foremost. Then, ahadith must only be taken as evidence if they do not contradict the Quran. Subsequently, the opinions of the Companions can only be followed when they are in line with ahadith and the Quran. Opinions are after all opinions and not truth (There are, in fact, many records of the Companions differing in their views).

 

I believe it is easy to take ahadith without checking whether they are in accordance with the Quran and use them to propagate a certain view and give the masses a fatwa/judgement.  Over time, the more people propagate the same ahadith, the more the judgment attached to them is perceived as ‘truth’. Yet, it is not.

 

To research ahadith properly and actually study the Quran can take years and a lot of sustained effort. But, this is our religion, our path to Jannah and salvation does not come easily. As Muslims, our beliefs and actions must be based upon truth even when the path to truth is a struggle.

Marrying a virgin

by Evidence seeker, posted in Marriage

Many Muslim men want to marry a virgin. They believe this is recommended by the religion. The clergy claim it is better to marry virgin women and they use the following hadith to support their opinion.

 

Narrated Jabir:

‘The Messenger of Allah met me and said: ‘O Jabir, have you got married to a woman since I last saw you?’’ I said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He said: To a virgin or to a previously married woman?’ I said: ‘To a previously married woman.’ He said: ‘Why not a virgin so she could play with you?’

An Nisa’i

 

 

It does seem that this hadith is suggesting what is popular opinion – that a virgin would have been a better choice for Jabir. Otherwise, why would the Prophet have questioned it?

 

As usual, let’s take a closer look.

 

Firstly, there is in fact, a longer version of the same account in Saheeh Muslim which is largely ignored by those claiming it is better to marry a virgin (regardless of whether they themselves are virgins or not!).

 

Jabir b. ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: I married a woman during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). I met the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He said: A virgin or one previously married? I said: Previously married, whereupon he said: Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could have fun with? I said: Allah’s Messenger, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them, whereupon he said: Well and good, if it is so. A woman is married for four reasons, for her religion, her property, her status, her beauty, so you should choose one with religion. May your hands be covered with dust.

Saheeh Muslim

 

This longer account points us to some very significant facts:

 

1). Jabir was young. It makes sense for young people to marry young partners in terms of equivalent life experience and outlook. That is why the Prophet was surprised and questioned his choice.

 

2). The Prophet said Jabir’s decision to marry someone who had been previously married (i.e more mature) was a GOOD one. Jabir’s decision meant the relationship between his wife and sisters would likely be a better one as opposed to marrying someone who would have been similar in age to them.

 

3). Most importantly, the Prophet gave Jabir and us vital information. That a woman is married for four reasons: her religion, her property, her status, or her beauty and the priority for Muslims should always be religion. ‘May your hands be covered with dust’ was a customary Arab warning – that choosing to marry for other reasons would be a really bad decision leading to one’s destruction.

 

In fact, the Prophet did not state that women at the time or any time were married because they were virgins nor that they should be.

 

The clergy argue the Prophet asking Jabir why he had not married a virgin means to marry a virgin is better. However, enquiring about a decision is NEVER the same as stating the decision was the wrong choice. 

 

Furthermore, if we look at the example of the Prophet, we realise that the Prophet’s first wife (Khadija) had been previously married not once but twice. After her death, all but one (Ayesha) of his wives were either divorcees or widows. His example shows that virginity is not a benchmark by which we measure anyone.

 

The companions followed the Prophet’s example – they often married wives of other companions after the husband’s death/divorce. 

 

In conclusion, women regardless of their faith should never be measured as purely sexual beings. How disgusting a belief that virginity is somehow the mark of a good woman or that it increases her appeal as a possible partner in marriage!

Islam always takes the high road. It is honourable and the actions of Muslims must be the same. 

When Biology becomes destiny for Muslim women

by Evidence seeker, posted in Women

1BCFA7EF-724D-4359-96A6-61AA3CD1A793Biology becomes destiny.

Well, almost.

If you’ve been keeping up to date with the news these past few months (i.e. Harvey Weinstein, salaries in Hollywood, and here at the BBC), you know that it is becoming glaringly obvious (if it wasn’t already) that women are deemed as lesser by the wider world (to different extents and in various ways, obviously depending upon where you live). The Muslim world takes this even further.

 

One of the ways in which this manifests itself is when Muslim men view women as a ‘trial’. This trial is one of sexual temptation, an allurement towards evil. The male Muslim clergy advise that men must be careful to lower their gaze, to marry if possible, to fast, and so on in order to curb the effects of this ‘trial’. So, women are not only lesser, they are a path to evil, the bad to the man’s good, yin to his yang.

 

This belief has led to Muslim women being forced to cover from head to toe in Persia and the Middle East. Even in the West, a Muslim woman is treated as spiritually inferior, kept separate in mosques, and even stopped from going out of the house lest she lead some poor male soul to distraction on her way to the local supermarket.

The incorrect idea that women are a ‘trial’ because of their sexual appeal comes from the misunderstanding of the hadith in Bukhari when the Prophet said,

” مَا تَرَكْتُ بَعْدِي فِتْنَةً أَضَرَّ عَلَى الرِّجَالِ مِنْ النِّسَاءِ “ 

 

The usual translation is, “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.”

 

‘Fitna’ is the key word here. It appears in the Quran many times so it is easy to check if it has been translated correctly. Here are just two examples.

 

(وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلاَدُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ (8:28

 

‘and know that your worldly goods and your children are but a trial, and that with God there is a tremendous reward.’

 

وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يَعْبُدُ اللَّهَ عَلَى حَرْفٍ فَإِنْ أَصَابَهُ خَيْرٌ اطْمَأَنَّ بِهِ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ فِتْنَةٌ انقَلَبَ عَلَى وَجْهِهِ خَسِرَ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةَ ذَلِكَ هُوَ الْخُسْرَانُ الْمُبِينُ

(22:11)

 

And there is, too, among men many a one who worships God on the border-line [of faith]: thus, if good befalls him, he is satisfied with Him; but if a trial assails him, he turns away utterly, losing both this world and the life to come: this, indeed, is a clear loss.

 

From these verses, you can see ‘Fitna’ does indeed mean ‘trial’ or ‘test’ but it has a generic meaning. There is no temptation or sexual connotation. It is not a case of mistranslation. Rather, the issue here is one of misunderstanding and the sexist culture within which such ahadith are interpreted.

 

What the Hadith is stating is that women are the greatest trial men have. The trial or test is in how they treat them. Is it a relationship of oppressor and oppressed or one of mutual co-operation and respect? Are Muslim men faring well in this trial when many Muslim women are amongst the most oppressed in the world? I think the evidence speaks for itself.

 

The clergy have attempted to make biology destiny for Muslim women and almost succeeded. However, when we reduce women like this to their sexuality, stripping them of what makes them human – their intellect and reason, we also at the same time reduce men to sexual predators and a sum of their desires.

 

In my opinion, that’s a lose-lose situation for us all. For how can we attain our best as individual Muslims and as a community if our opinions of each other are so lowly. The only way now is up and towards the actual evidence of the religion.

The DEFICIENT Muslim woman

by Evidence seeker, posted in Women

D2FF4AA0-AAE6-4444-BCB0-2B1ED683E1B2This hadith and its alternate versions are often used by imams in mosques to claim that women are deficient and lesser than men in Islam and to portray women as temptresses who lead men astray.

 

حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي مَرْيَمَ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي زَيْدٌ ـ هُوَ ابْنُ أَسْلَمَ ـ عَنْ عِيَاضِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، قَالَ خَرَجَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي أَضْحًى ـ أَوْ فِطْرٍ ـ إِلَى الْمُصَلَّى، فَمَرَّ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ فَقَالَ ” يَا مَعْشَرَ النِّسَاءِ تَصَدَّقْنَ، فَإِنِّي أُرِيتُكُنَّ أَكْثَرَ أَهْلِ النَّارِ “. فَقُلْنَ وَبِمَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” تُكْثِرْنَ اللَّعْنَ، وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ، مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْ نَاقِصَاتِ عَقْلٍ وَدِينٍ أَذْهَبَ لِلُبِّ الرَّجُلِ الْحَازِمِ مِنْ إِحْدَاكُنَّ “. قُلْنَ وَمَا نُقْصَانُ دِينِنَا وَعَقْلِنَا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” أَلَيْسَ شَهَادَةُ الْمَرْأَةِ مِثْلَ نِصْفِ شَهَادَةِ الرَّجُلِ “. قُلْنَ بَلَى. قَالَ ” فَذَلِكَ مِنْ نُقْصَانِ عَقْلِهَا، أَلَيْسَ إِذَا حَاضَتْ لَمْ تُصَلِّ وَلَمْ تَصُمْ “. قُلْنَ بَلَى. قَالَ ” فَذَلِكَ مِنْ نُقْصَانِ دِينِهَا

Bukhari

 

It is usually translated as the following;

 

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:

Once Allah’s Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) on ‘Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Apostle ?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her religion.”

 

This has puzzled, confused and sometimes, angered many a Muslim woman. All because the translation and explanation has been done by those looking at it while wearing sexist spectacles and just like the rose-tinted kind, these spectacles affect the understanding and outlook of all those who wear them.

 

In fact, there are a number of corrections necessary here. 

 

1.   وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ

 

This should read ‘ingratitude to the one(s) who supports the woman’. Of course, this is not synonymous with husband. It could be her father, her brother, her relative and so on.

 

The evidence for this is in the Quran in Surah Al Hajj, verse 13.

 

يَدْعُو لَمَنْ ضَرُّهُ أَقْرَبُ مِن نَّفْعِهِ لَبِئْسَ الْمَوْلَى وَلَبِئْسَ الْعَشِيرُ

 

He calls unto him whose harm is nearer than his profit; certainly an evil ally and certainly an evil helper/supporter. 

(Obviously, it is clear from this verse the word ‘a’sheer’ does not mean ‘husband’!)

 

The reason why this is important is that some Muslim men then link the rest of the Hadith to the spousal relationship using it against their wives to criticise and lower a woman’s intellectual capabilities. 

 

2.    مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْ نَاقِصَاتِ عَقْلٍ وَدِينٍ أَذْهَبَ لِلُبِّ الرَّجُلِ الْحَازِمِ مِنْ إِحْدَاكُنَّ

 

This does not mean ‘I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you.’ Rather, the Prophet was stating, ‘I have not previously recognised, that despite being ‘Naqisaat’ (ie. ‘with something missing’ – see below), one of you could overcome a resolute/strong-willed man’.

 

To completely understand this, we must go back to the context. The women were asked to give in charity. They were advised to take heed in the matters of cursing and ingratitude. Then, the Prophet said something motivating to instil hope in the hearts of the women – that women have the capabilities despite being ‘Naqisaat’ to match and even overcome a man.

 

3.  قُلْنَ وَمَا نُقْصَانُ دِينِنَا وَعَقْلِنَا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” أَلَيْسَ شَهَادَةُ الْمَرْأَةِ مِثْلَ نِصْفِ شَهَادَةِ الرَّجُل”. قُلْنَ بَلَى. قَالَ ” فَذَلِكَ مِنْ نُقْصَانِ عَقْلِهَا، أَلَيْسَ إِذَا حَاضَتْ لَمْ تُصَلِّ وَلَمْ تَصُمْ “. قُلْنَ بَلَى. قَالَ ” فَذَلِكَ مِنْ نُقْصَانِ دِينِهَا

 

The usual translation (see above) is incorrect.

 

It would be better translated as – “The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is missing in our knowledge/understanding and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is what is missing in her knowledge/understanding. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is what is missing in her religion.”

 

For those who would like more insight into the Arabic, the term ‘nuqsaan’ translates to ‘missing/absent’. ‘Aql’ does not refer to intelligence. Rather if we look at its usage in the Quran, it refers to ‘understanding based upon knowledge’. 

 

There are many examples in the Quran but I will just point out one (Surah Al Baqarah, verse 73),

فَقُلْنَا اضْرِبُوهُ بِبَعْضِهَا كَذَلِكَ يُحْىِ اللَّهُ الْمَوْتَى وَيُرِيكُمْ آيَـتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ

 

So We said: “Strike him (the dead man) with a piece of it (the cow).” Thus Allah brings the dead to life and shows you His Ayat (proofs, evidences, etc.) so that you may understand.

 

The Prophet was expressing that a woman despite the fact that, in a specific situation (See Al Baqarah, verse 282) is called as a witness as part of a pair and despite the fact that she misses prayers when she is menstruating, a woman is still able to triumph over a man. 

 

There are those out there who will always point to women as sexual beings, as temptresses. Again, this depends upon the spectacles they are wearing for their world view. 

 

Upon scrutiny, it is clear that this hadith is not about women being inferior. It is not about women as sexual beings. It is the recount of the Muslim women at the time being asked to give in charity. It is also for us to take heed of being grateful to those who work to support us and to be careful of cursing. Yet, it is also an affirmation that women should not be underestimated either by themselves or the men around them.

 

My advice to anyone out there who has read this hadith or any other and felt confusion, injustice, depression, anger, or any other emotion is to always question what the clergy offer. To search for the truth endlessly until you find it. The religion is never the problem. The Lord is Just and Fair. Sexism both within the Muslim world and the wider society is the real issue. Indeed, it is the spectacles the male clergy wear that are causing confusion and misleading us.

Its time for us to see the truth for ourselves.

 

ISLAM. Religion of peace?

by Evidence seeker, posted in Meaning of Islam

26751977-9F91-491A-A124-DC1A1A401B02Many a Muslim in the Western world, will claim Muslims are a peaceful people. This is based upon their translation of the Arabic word ‘Islam’ as ‘peace’. Others (Muslims and non Muslims alike) may find this idea of Islam as a religion of peace paradoxical. They see the contradiction in the wars and battles mentioned in Islamic history.

 

Understandably, this causes people to progressively lose trust in what Muslims are saying.
I wanted to take a closer look at the definition of the term ‘Islam’. As usual, I looked to the Quran first.

 

The Quran does call the path/religion to be followed ‘Islam’.

 

For example, in 5:3,

الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِى وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الأِسْلاَمَ دِيناً

This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion

 

So, on to what ‘Islam’ actually means according to divine scripture. A little knowledge of the Arabic language and one sees that the word ‘Islam’ is a noun derived from the verb ‘aslama’ which means ‘to submit’. I found a number of verses containing ‘aslama’. I have given you three here.

 

إِذْ قَالَ لَهُ رَبُّهُ أَسْلِمْ قَالَ أَسْلَمْتُ لِرَبِّ الْعَـلَمِينَ

When his Lord said to him, “Submit!” He said, “I have submitted myself to the Lord of the `Alamin (mankind, Jinn and all that exists).”)

Al Baqarah, verse 131.

 

أَفَغَيْرَ دِينِ اللَّهِ يَبْغُونَ وَلَهُ أَسْلَمَ مَن فِى السَّمَـوَتِ وَالاٌّرْضِ طَوْعًا وَكَرْهًا وَإِلَيْهِ يُرْجَعُونَ

Do they seek other than the religion of Allah, while to Him submitted all creatures in the heavens and the earth, willingly or unwillingly. And to Him shall they all be returned.

Al Imran, verse 83

 

وَلِكُلِّ أُمَّةٍ جَعَلْنَا مَنسَكًا لِّيَذْكُرُواْ اسْمَ اللَّهِ عَلَى مَا رَزَقَهُمْ مِّن بَهِيمَةِ الاٌّنْعَـمِ فَإِلَـهُكُمْ إِلَـهٌ وَحِدٌ فَلَهُ أَسْلِمُواْ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُخْبِتِينَ

And for every nation We have appointed religious ceremonies, that they may mention the Name of Allah over the beast of cattle that He has given them for food. And your God is One God, so you must submit to Him Alone. And give glad tidings to the Mukhbitin.

 

Surah al Hajj, 34

 

Subsequently, ‘Islam’ means ‘submission to God’. Not ‘peace’.

أَسلَمَ to submit (verb)
إسلامً Submission (noun)

 

The reason it is often defined as ‘peace’ is due to its root being confused with ‘salaam’ like in the Muslim greeting ‘assalamu alaikum’ which loosely translates as ‘peace be upon you’. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, Arabic is a very rich language with similar words sometimes conveying completely different meanings. Anyhow, the evidence that ‘Islam’ is NOT synonymous with ‘peace’ is there, as clear as day.

 

 

Furthermore, there is this clear hadith in the collection of Bukhari.

 

On the authority of Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: One day while we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah, there appeared before us a man whose clothes were exceedingly white and whose hair was exceedingly black; no signs of journeying were to be seen on him and none of us knew him. He walked up and sat down by the Prophet (pbuh). Resting his knees against his (the Prophet’s) and placing the palms of his hands on his thighs, he said:

O Muhammed, tell me about Islam.

The Messenger of Allah (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Islam is to testify that there is no god but Allah and Muhammed is the Messenger of Allah, to perform the prayers, to pay the Zakah, to fast in Ramadhan, and to make the pilgrimage to the House  if you are able to do so.

(The hadith goes on but this is the part relevant here).

 

In the Prophet’s definition of Islam, there is absolutely no mention of ‘peace’.

 

Perhaps, some Muslims want to propagate a softer religion to appease the critics. I can understand that especially when we have seen acts of terror committed using the banner of religion. Yet, that doesn’t make things better.

 

Propagating Islam as ‘peace’, is first and foremost, not true and I believe religion must always be based upon truth. Secondly, we lose the focal point of the religion. Instead of paying attention to self improvement, the spotlight is turned away to social impact and global harmony. A top down approach, if you like. Making the religion easier because we can spend our lives looking outwards instead of looking in which would force us to work to improve our spiritual shortcomings.

 

Furthermore, trying to fit in by changing ourselves will never work. The parameters are constantly changing. How can you fit into something which is not concrete? In fact, it is being true Muslims and sticking to the evidence which is the best advert for the religion. A religion based upon submission to God in all that you do, demanding good from yourself and pushing away evil, displaying the best of manners and adding gentleness to your dealings with people, when a simple smile is charity, facing the world with the best version of you. Because a better you means a better world for all of us.

 

 

To fast or not to fast?

by Evidence seeker, posted in Fasting

7705E6AB-C9E7-4758-BBB5-CAACC5E1D7EEWith Ramadan not too far, I thought I’d write about fasting for pregnant and breast feeding women. There are a variety of actions taken by Muslim women – some choose to fast, others don’t in Ramadan but make up the fasts later. Some pay the fidya (‘a small amount of money expiating for each fast missed’) while a minority do both (make up those fasts later and pay the fidya).

 

Why the different actions?

 

The answer is one word – ‘Scholars’.

 

The Muslim male dominated clergy have different opinions and for many a Muslim woman, the action she takes this Ramadan is determined by whose opinion she decides to follow.

 

The religion is clear on the matter.

 

We look first to the Qur’an for evidence. Surah Al Baqarah has verses 183 & 184.

 

يأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

أَيَّامًا مَّعْدُودَتٍ فَمَن كَانَ مِنكُم مَّرِيضًا أَوْ عَلَى سَفَرٍ فَعِدَّةٌ مِّنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ وَعَلَى الَّذِينَ يُطِيقُونَهُ فِدْيَةٌ طَعَامُ مِسْكِينٍ فَمَن تَطَوَّعَ خَيْرًا فَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّهُ وَأَن تَصُومُواْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ

 

These translate to read – ‘ Oh you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you so you may increase in Taqwa.’ (183). ‘Fast for a fixed number of days, but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days. And as for those who can fast with difficulty, feed a Miskin (i.e.poor person). So whoever pays the fidya, it is good for him. And that you fast is GOOD (often translated as ‘better’) for you if only you knew.’ (184).

 

According to verse 184, there are 2 groups;

 

1. Those who are sick (i.e. Whose health has changed from well to unwell) and anyone travelling makes up the fasts after Ramadhan.

 

2. Those who would fast with difficulty. The word in Arabic ‘yuteequnahu’ (in bold above) means when you can ‘bear/tolerate something’. So these people could fast but it may harm them either immediately or in the longer term. This group pays the fidya (i.e. feed a poor person for every fast they have missed).

 

So, which group do pregnant and breastfeeding women fall into?

 

Some ‘scholars’ put breastfeeding and pregnant women into the first group because they claim it is a temporary condition so the fasts should be made up after Ramadan. Others claim it is the second group and if women feel fasting will harm them or their baby, they can miss the fasts and pay the fidya. The third faction err on the side of caution and state these women are in both groups mentioned in the verse and hence must make up the fasts and pay the fidya!

 

This is puzzling as there is a hadeeth from the Prophet (sallalahu alahi wa Salam) narrated by Anas bin Malik al Ka’abi which states, ‘Allah relieved the traveller from half of the prayer and relieved the pregnant woman and the suckling woman from fasting.’

Collected by Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi (who said its chain is hasan/good, and Sheikh Albanee authenticated it more recently giving it Saheeh status).

 

We also have evidence from the companions;

 

Ibn Abbas upon seeing seeing his servant girl who was pregnant/suckling said, ‘you do not observe the fasting, you pay the fidya, and you do not need to make up the fasts.’ (From Abu Dawud & cited by At Tabari in his tafseer).

 

Ibn Umar, when asked by his wife when pregnant, if it was possible not to fast, said ‘Do not fast. Feed a poor person for each day and do not make up the fasts’. (Ad Daraqutni).

 

These answer the question without any doubt. Breastfeeding and pregnant women belong in the second group. They do not fast but pay the fidya instead.

 

Now, going back to the verse above, English translations usually fail to convey the complete and beautiful meaning of the words which only come through in the original Arabic. The Lord is telling us there is good in both actions. Good for those who make up the fasts (due to temporary sickness or travel) AND for those who end up paying the fidya (and not fasting). One action is not better or of more value. So pregnant and breast feeding women need not feel they are missing out or pressure to fast.

 

This is the route we must travel to find the truth of our religion. Start at the beginning with the words of Our Lord, the Quran. Then, look to the example of the Prophet followed by the Companions as opposed to taking the opinions of those who base their views on the opinions of those before them!

 

Following ‘scholars’ leads to unnecessary hardship and harm (the research is there, if you’re interested) for pregnant and breast feeding women and for their babies. It leads to innovation for us all.

 

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Every innovation is going astray, and every going astray will be in the Fire.” Narrated by Muslim and an-Nasaa’i.

 

Let us find our way back while we still can.

 

 

 

Muslim TOXIC families

by Evidence seeker, posted in Family

4FCD53BB-1005-478C-ADA2-EEFE5C0B60E2Maybe you have noticed it too? The deeply rooted misconception that being Muslim somehow exempts one from mental health issues or being toxic. Mental health issues have long been taboo in the UK but the culture has been steadily changing so more people are now able to talk about suffering from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and so on. Yet, Muslim communities still, for the most part, consider mental health as something to hide from the outside world, an inconvenient truth.

 

Furthermore, there does not seem to be much spiritual help available for Muslims dealing with toxic (destructive, malignant, harmful) families. ‘Scholars’ usually quote verses like the one (2.27) I have pasted below (as well as 13.21 and 13.25) to encourage distressed, vulnerable Muslims to uphold the ties of kinship and not distance oneself from a toxic/abusive family. They state evidence about the importance of treating parents and relatives with respect, having patience, and making du’a/invocations. In other words, they completely side step the actual problem.

 

The issue is not the approach of the victim or the seeker of spiritual guidance but the family itself.

 

To get to the reality of the situation, let us scrutinise the evidence. As mentioned above, the clergy commonly quote Surah Al Baqarah, verse 27 (underlined below) so here are verses 26 and 27.

 

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَحْىِ أَن يَضْرِبَ مَثَلاً مَّا بَعُوضَةً فَمَا فَوْقَهَا فَأَمَّا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ فَيَعْلَمُونَ أَنَّهُ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّهِمْ وَأَمَّا الَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ فَيَقُولُونَ مَاذَآ أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِهَـذَا مَثَلاً يُضِلُّ بِهِ كَثِيرًا وَيَهْدِي بِهِ كَثِيرًا وَمَا يُضِلُّ بِهِ إِلاَّ الْفَـسِقِينَ – الَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهْدَ اللَّهِ مِن بَعْدِ مِيثَـقِهِ وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَآ أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِي الاٌّرْضِ أُولَـئِكَ هُمُ الْخَـسِرُونَ

 

26. Verily, Allah is not ashamed to set forth a parable even of a mosquito or so much more when it is bigger (or less when it is smaller) than it. And as for those who believe, they know that it is the truth from their Lord, but as for those who disbelieve, they say: “What did Allah intend by this parable” By it He misleads many, and many He guides thereby. And He misleads thereby only the Fasiqin (the rebellious, disobedient to Allah). 27. Those who break Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, and put an end to (often translated as ‘SEVER’) what Allah has ordered to be continued (often translated as ‘JOINED’) and do mischief on earth, it is they who are the losers.

 

Firstly, including the prior verse gives us context. The description which follows in the next oft-used verse is of the ‘Fasiqun’ (the rebellious, disobedient). This verse is often translated as ‘and who sever what God has bidden to be joined’ and so interpreted as implying the ties of kinship. In actual fact, a closer look reveals this is one opinion (Ibn Jarir At Tabari) while others have concluded the meaning is a general one.

 

In other words, this verse, along with 13.21 and 13.25, the most commonly used, to answer questions on toxic families are NOT about upholding blood ties.

 

Moving away from the opinions of scholars and looking at it within the context of the whole Quran, you realise quite easily that what is meant here is not strictly ‘joining’ but ‘continuing’. It is describing those who broke a covenant they had ratified with Allah and then ‘discontinued/put an end to’ what they had been ordered with.

 

The clue is in the bold ‘word’ within verse 26.
يَقْطَعُون

 

Clerics are using the root ‘qata’a’ to mean ‘cut/sever’ which it does in many cases in the Quran (e.g 5.33, 2.166, 3.127 etc). However, there are other subsidiary meanings (Arabic is an extremely rich language with many words having many grades of meanings!) such as ‘divide/split’ (e.g. 7.160) and ‘to put an end to’ as in the story of Hud (7.72).

 

فَأَنجَيْنَـهُ وَالَّذِينَ مَعَهُ بِرَحْمَةٍ مِّنَّا وَقَطَعْنَا دَابِرَ الَّذِينَ كَذَّبُواْ بِـَايَـتِنَا وَمَا كَانُواْ مُؤْمِنِينَ

 

72. So We saved him and those who were with him out of mercy from Us, and We put an end to those who belied Our Ayat; and they were not believers.

 

So, why are many ‘scholars’ wrong about this? The ‘scholars’ often follow the opinions of the ‘scholars’ before them, bypassing the actual evidence of the Quran. The result? We end up with a few verses being used (with the best of intentions!) to, in essence, trap vulnerable people in cycles of abuse when in fact the verses are about something else altogether.

 

Then, these opinions are coupled with social/cultural expectations whereby the nature of family relationships are built solely upon reciprocation – visiting one another, invitations to celebrations/family events as well as gift exchanging. Relationships which, to an outsider may appear fine but, are in actual fact, a facade, masquerading for some people, what has been a lifetime of toxicity.

 

Blood ties should be based upon love, mutual respect, loyalty, and care. Every person, regardless of religion, will feel deep down that there is something wrong when those who should be a safe haven for you are consistently causing you harm (including mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse).

 

So, what explicit evidence is there about cutting the ties?

 

There is a verse in Surah Muhammad, Verse 22,

فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُواْ فِى الاٌّرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُواْ أَرْحَامَكُمْ

 

Would you then, if you were to turn back, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship.

 

And (4.1)

يَـأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيراً وَنِسَآءً وَاتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ الَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالاٌّرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيباً

 

O mankind! Have Taqwa of your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his mate, and from them both He created many men and women, and have Taqwa (fear) of Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and the wombs. Surely, Allah is always watching over you.

So, we have a verse stating severing the ties is clearly not good and a verse about having ‘taqwa/fear’ of Allah in them.

 

There are also ahadith like this one from Sahih Muslim,

 

حَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ أَسْمَاءَ الضُّبَعِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا جُوَيْرِيَةُ، عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَ بْنَ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِمٍ، أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ أَبَاهُ أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ” لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ قَاطِعُ رَحِمٍ ” .

 

Jubair b. Mutlim reported that his father narrated to him that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said:
‘The severer of the tie of kinship would not get into Paradise.’
What is ultimately key here is to understand what it means to ‘sever ties’ according to the Arabic language and the religion. It means for a family/blood relationship to be completely severed with intention. This would only happen if one person clearly communicates this to another (e.g. ‘You are dead for me’ or ‘We are finished – you are no longer my sibling/parent /child etc’). This is clearly not permitted in the religion. It has greater implications than visiting one another. It includes being cut from inheritance, financial support and in some cases, a removal of protection.

 

At the same time, as long as you are not ending the relationship, there are no stipulations that you need to visit them or allow them to visit you. A lot of what is being assumed by Muslims is based upon cultural or social norms and a misguided understanding of ‘upholding ties’.

 

In fact the religion states in the following hadith that simply reciprocating visits to each other’s homes or exchanging gifts is NOT what it meant by ‘upholding ties’.

 

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645).

 

Indeed, you can put into place boundaries to protect your sense of self and personal safety. These may entail keeping in touch via phone or e-mail only or meeting infrequently in a public space.

 

Furthermore, upholding ties does not mean you should allow yourself to be put in harm’s way or to sacrifice your individual sense of self. This might include physical, emotional or sexual abuse or oppression, aggravating conditions such as eating disorders, PTSD, and even suicidal thoughts.

 

After all, the Prophet also said,

عَنْ أَنَسٍ رضى الله عنه قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم انْصُرْ أَخَاكَ ظَالِمًا أَوْ مَظْلُومًا قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَذَا نَنْصُرُهُ مَظْلُومًا فَكَيْفَ نَنْصُرُهُ ظَالِمًا قَالَ تَأْخُذُ فَوْقَ يَدَيْهِ

 

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Support your brother whether he is an oppressor or is being oppressed.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, we help the one being oppressed but how do we help an oppressor?” The Prophet said, “By seizing his hand.”

 

Please don’t stay oppressed. Dysfunctionality breeds dysfunctionality. Break the cycle.